Welcome to part 2 of our slightly deranged, very unserious Taylor Swift-themed reading before her new album, The Tortured Poets Department, drops on April 19th. Just doing our part to prop up the Taylor Swift media criticism industrial complex!
The Reading
Extremely chaotic Major Arcana vibes to match a real rollercoaster ride of a track list. This woman’s really going to make us listen to a song called "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)"…anyway…if it makes either of our Spotify Wrapped next year, mind your own business.
To close out this epic saga, we conducted a general assessment of what this new era will mean for Ms. Swift’s love life, career, and personal growth. And, now that we think about it, all of this probably applies to the collective by extension. Her every move affects the GDP of multiple countries. Trayvis has altered the brain chemistry of most Americans, for better or for worse (worse, probably). Safe to say, whatever fate awaits Taylor in some way awaits us all. Good thing it’s a pretty cute one?
Also, peep the black cat in the Queen’s lap. Karma literally is a cat, purring in my lap ‘cause it loves me?! Hold that thought, because we’re gonna come back to that in a minute.
Finally, we decided to pull a final card from the Literary Witches Oracle (which you know Ms. Swift, literal descendant of Emily Dickinson, would love) to stand as the overall image/archetype for this new era. Ready to be gagged?
Yup, a cat in every spread, just as the Lord—Tree Paine—intended. We may hate Taylor’s branding most of the time, but at least she’s consistent. If we get another lyric about a cat in this album, we’re officially doing some expert level witchcraft.
Can’t wait to see how on point…or not…we are with all of this speculation. See ya next week!
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